Lentils on the floor.

Lentils on the floor, lentils on the floor, looking like a fool with your lentils on the floor…

Man, I feel like dancing! With my lentils on the floor!

How often do you make a giant mess in the kitchen? I’m talking above and beyond the typical few dirty dishes that always occur when making dinner. For me, it’s pretty much every day. It’s a gift. Ingrained in me sense birth. If there is something neat and tidy somewhere, I will zone in on it and completely destroy it in a matter of about 4.3 seconds.

But I don’t contain my messes to just the kitchen. No, no I mess up all the rooms in my house equally. In fact, my husband has a nickname for me –Erin the Mess Maker.

I don’t do it on purpose! I swear I don’t! I really do try to be careful. It just….happens.

I’ll think I’ve adequately wiped my feet after coming in the house on a rainy day, only to track dirty footprints all over the place.

I’ll be enjoying my lunch in the living room on a Saturday afternoon and accidentally drop my oily salad fork on the arm of the couch.

I’ll spill my mineral makeup all over the bathroom counter.

I’ll pick up a strawberry smoothie from the cup holder in the car in such a way that the cap will literally SHOOT off, I’m talking full on rocket-mode here, sending drippy strawberry goop all over the dash and windshield (True. This happened to me once. On the plus side, I was parked at the time. On the downside, well, the rest of it pretty much sucked.)

I am guaranteed to dribble salsa on my shirt. Get paint on my pants. Egg on my face. (HA!) If it can be stained, strained, smashed spilled, soaked, ripped, ruined, busted, broke, torn or tattered, you can probably rely on me to go ahead and get that done for ya.

But nowhere in the house am I more prone to messes than in the kitchen. Dry messes, wet messes, big messes and small messes, if it’s a mess, I can make it!

I can effortlessly add dry ingredients to my KitchenAid and accidentally hit the latch that turns it on rather than the latch that locks it in place. KA-BOOM! Flour facial, anyone?

I can easily spill an entire container of red pepper flakes on the floor and then knock my bowl of parmesan cheese off the counter right after it. Look! It’s your favorite pizza parlor toppers right there on the floor! Awesome! If I happened to drop a pizza too, we’ll be all set. (That actually happened a couple weeks ago…I’m STILL sweeping up red pepper flakes…they just keep reappearing! I would advise against licking my tiles at this particular time. Unless you like your ceramic and grout extra spicy. 😉 )

I can splatter simmering spaghetti sauce to the ceiling and beyond, slosh sudsy dish soap out of the sink and all over myself, scatter papery onion and garlic skins all the way to living room carpet. It’s pretty amazing, actually. Is there a medal for this? No? There should be. I nominate myself as the receiver.

I’ll be working on my acceptance speech. Hold my calls, please.

Just this week, I made the mistake of talking on the phone and trying to grab an open bag of lentils out of the cabinet at the same time. Yeah, multi-tasking like that? That’s a recipe for disaster. I set the bag (standing up) on the edge of the counter, where it teetered for a nanosecond before toppling onto the floor. &*%^#!!! Lentils are bouncy little buggers and, boy, do they scatter – spreading out across the kitchen like rats fleeing a sinking ship.

Oh joy. Another mess to clean up. ::sarcastic eyeroll::

Luckily, I didn’t lose ALL my lentils in this unfortunate incident. Otherwise I would have starved at lunch all this week. Ha.

Now, I make an effort to eat a healthy lunch every day. That way, I can eat a treat after dinner and not feel guilty about it. Works great! 🙂 A brownie while I watch AI? A cookie or two during the Thursday night comedies? Well…don’t mind if I do!

I have to bring my lunch from home because I only get thirty minutes and my office is in kind of a food dead zone. There’s really nothing nearby, except for a Dairy Queen (PASS…) so it’s nearly impossible to get food, even to go, and get back in under thirty. And since I am forced to bring something, I’m discriminatory about what makes it into my cute pink lunch tote. Can’t eat what I don’t pack, right?

I love to cook for lunches on the weekend. It’s a great way to spend time in the kitchen trying new things. And it takes the guess work out of lunch for the rest of the week. Plus, I get to make what I want and not have to worry about Eric not liking it. 🙂

Enter the Snobby Joe – like Sloppy Joes that think they’re better than you. 🙂 Or, if you prefer, a vegetarian version of an old childhood standby.

I found this recipe for Snobby Joes over at a great new blog called Green Swamp Soup. Now, I happen to know this wonderful gal and can say that she ROCKS! She is a green, knowledgeable and motivational healthy foodie. 🙂 Mariah’s recipes are healthy, wholesome, and creative. The best part? She does it all with her kiddos in mind! Calling all Moms – looking for great tasting, healthy meals your kids will love? Hit up Green Swamp Soup. Mariah is an expert. 🙂

I LOVED this. I added some red pepper flakes for a little heat and subbed out maple syrup for honey because that’s what I had on hand. Turned into an easy, one pot meal. A little spicy, a little sweet and super satisfying and delicious. Everything just blends together perfectly. The flavors are spot on for a homemade sloppy joe, but you don’t miss the meat one bit! Perfect for lunch because it’s nice and filling. No afternoon vending machine snack attacks. I will be making this again and again.

SNOBBY JOES (Recipe ever-so-slightly adapted from: Green Swamp Soup, originally from Post Punk Kitchen)


  • 1 1/3 cups uncooked lentils
  • 4 cups water
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 medium yellow onion, diced small
  • 1/2 green pepper, diced small
  • 1/2 red pepper, diced small
  • 1 carrot, diced small
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. chili powder
  • 1/4 to 1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes
  • 1 teaspoon oregano
  • 1 15- oz can tomato sauce
  • 1 tbsp. ketchup
  • 2 tbsp. maple syrup (I subbed honey because that’s what I had on hand)
  • 2 tsp. prepared yellow mustard (I had this total man moment and after the yellow mustard did not literally jump on my face and start to wiggle after I opened up the fridge I assumed I didn’t have any and subbed Dijon. The yellow mustard was located moments later. But the Dijon worked great too. 🙂 )


  1. Combine lentils and water in a small saucepan. Cover and bring to a boil. Once boiling, lower heat and simmer for about 20 minutes, until lentils are soft. Drain and set aside. (You may also soak the lentils prior to boiling to shorten the cooking time, if you prefer.)
  2. Meanwhile, preheat a medium soup pot over medium heat. Add olive oil and saute the onion, carrot and pepper and cook until softened, about 7 minutes. Add the garlic and saute a minute more.
  3. Add the cooked lentils, the chili powder and oregano and mix well to combine. Add the tomato sauce and ketchup. Cook for about 10 minutes. Add the maple syrup and mustard, turn heat to low and simmer for about 20 minutes.
  4. Spoon on to toasted whole wheat buns and eat! Serves 4 to 6.



Filed under veggies

5 responses to “Lentils on the floor.

  1. I just cooked lentils for the first time ever – and wow, were they good! My husband would totally dig this – I’m saving it for sure.

    Oh, and the mess maker award? I’ve got you covered – with the stains to prove it. 🙂

  2. brannyboilsover

    This recipe is a favorite in my house. I also frequently use it as a vegetarian option at pot-lucks and it always gets rave reviews.

  3. This looks really good. I’ve never had lentils before. Eek! I know, call me crazy. I’ll have to try this. I love the name of it…. snobby joes. 🙂 Too cute!

  4. Erin,thanks for the shout out! You are too sweet.

    I’m not sure how I missed your post on Facebook, but I loved it. Your posts are so well done and I love your photos … you’ve made me hungry for Snobby Joes again.

  5. Pingback: Project Food Blog: Ready, Set, Blog! « Milk & Honey

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